I have always known I wanted two children. I am one of two myself so I guess that’s what was familiar to me! From the moment Max started to grow out of his clothes and toys as a baby I said to myself, well I’ll just pack that away for next time! I hoped next time would not be too far away either as I didn’t want a big age gap and let’s face it I’m no spring chicken so wanted to get a wriggle on popping them out!
I was extremely lucky in my journey to build my family and for that I am truly grateful. I knew those first few days and weeks would be hard but I’m not sure anything can quite prepare you…even when you have already been through it once before.
I’ll be honest and say that in the early hours of the morning…less than 24 hours after Harper had been born and with her lying in my arms (as that’s the only place she would settIe) I thought to myself…what have we done? Don’t get me wrong I was over the moon to have my beautiful little girl safely here but I knew what was lying ahead and it really scared me! The first time around people warn you what it will be like but you are blissfully unaware….however the second time…well the second time you know! We were at a stage with Max where he was walking, talking, eating (when he felt like it!) and sleeping through the night and now …boom…we were back to square one of broken sleep, night feeds and endless crying for what seems like no reason!
The first two weeks were pretty horrific, not least because I was recovering from a second c-section and once again struggling with breastfeeding, but because this giving birth lark comes with a wealth of emotions and they can be hard to control. There were ALL the tears once again and ALL the worries….is she putting on weight? is she getting enough milk? is she pooing enough? is she pooing too much?!
I am so lucky that I had a lot of family support because to begin with I didn’t feel I could cope home alone with two of them while I could barely walk or lift! It’s at this time that friends with babies of similar age become more valuable than ever as you know you can whatsapp them at 3am to ask if it’s normal to be feeding for this long and you know they won’t even mind!
Well, almost 4 months in to life as a family of 4 and being a mommy to 2 small humans, I can say that things have become so much easier and I have even got the hang of the double pushchair AND on occasion getting out the house before 9.30am!!! My tip for this to happen is to prep EVERYTHING the night before.
But I know this is the calm before the next storm (that storm being teething…eeek!) so I am bracing myself….and pouring myself a nice glass of wine…because I can again now…yay!