I’ll get there….eventually

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This week at weigh in I maintained my weight which is ok I guess as at least it isn’t a gain, but as it’s only my second week, and because I had been pretty good (bar a glass of prosecco or two) I was naturally disappointed! I had done the usual hop on the scales at home the day before, which I’m sure you are told not to do but of course everyone does! and I was hoping for at least two pounds off. So when I stood on the scales at group and nothing had budged I was pretty frustrated. I realised a little later that this could well be my ‘star’ week (it is) and a couple of days later I’m showing the loss again. Bloody timing eh?

I could let the fact that I’m only two weeks in to a new diet and I’ve already had a sticky point, vere me off track but I’m not going to. As my consultant pointed out…that’s still 4.5lb off in two weeks and that’s not bad! I know I don’t have masses of weight to lose and that it will be slow but that’s how I want it to be. Because slow and steady wins the race and all that. Slow means it won’t come back on as quickly. Not that I have any intention of letting it come back on. I’m done with the ‘being pregnant’ part of my life and I don’t intend to ever be the weight I am now again.

Harper is 6 months old and it has taken until now for me to be in the right head space to want to start this weight loss process and you definitely need to be in the right head space to be successful and to continue long term. I know I have some way to go yet but this time around I have no major time limit or even an event I am working towards. I lost weight for my wedding as I wanted to look good in my photos and that was a great motivator….of course I got pregnant straight away so didn’t have much of chance to maintain the slimmer figure!

But now…I can take my time. Before, my thinking was that ‘I can’t join now as I have that night out planned’ or ‘that party to go to’  and I’ll want to eat the yummy food or have a drink. But now I just think….I’ll deal with it as it comes. If I slip up, I’ll get back on it. If I really can’t resist that cake. I’ll have it. If I want to have a cheat meal after weigh in, I will. It’s funny however that now I have that mindset, I’m not as fussed about being naughty.

Cake tastes amazing and sometimes I am still going to want it….but I want to feel good about myself more. I want to see those numbers on the scales dwindle and more than that I want to feel confident that I look ok in what I am wearing. For me….how I dress, makes me feel better about myself. Knowing I am semi fashionable and smart however shallow that is, is important to me and I take an interest in it. I am not one to go out of the house with no make-up and slightly greasy hair as this doesn’t make me feel good, so I make the effort. It’s time consuming and hard to fit in with kids around believe me but it gives me confidence…especially when feeling a little podgy!

So this week I will hopefully have a success on the scales…and i’ll continue doing so until I hit a weight I am happy with. It might not be the recommended weight for my height as I am short ass with curves but it will be what I can maintain for the foreseeable future! Because life if for living and we should eat the bloody cake and have that (well deserved) glass of wine…but we should also give ourselves the chance to feel amazing in our own skin!

On that note I’m off out for a curry later and I may not count all my syns…..ahhhh well you know what Scarlett O’Hara said…..

Helen x

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